Friday, January 1, 2016

Sweet Sixteen

I'm pumped! I can feel it ... this year is going to be a good one.

My word of the year is 'CREATE' ... CRE8 ... no negotiation. 
I am ready, willing and able. I'm hungry to get to it.

I did my usual 'review' of my goals for 2015 and I laughed out loud. Giving myself marks in each of the seven categories, I mostly got 0. I did get a 3/10 for writing. That was my word for last year and I felt pretty good about it. I only got 3 because I was very specific in what I wanted to achieve, like writing 50 blog posts. I did 9, the same as 2014. I couldn't even manage to up it by one. I could have given myself extra points for trying and actually doing ANYTHING compared to the others. The one that pulled the year out of the fire from being a total wash out was 'FINANCIAL' - I got 10/10. That is because I wrote: 'Oh hell. I give up.' 

This list is one that I actually have transferred year after year with very little editing or amendments to it. It should be entitled 'Things STILL Not Done'. Or 'What is the MATTER With You - Loser'. That's sort of how I feel every single year when I come to the realization that once again, I have not moved forward in the direction I expected myself to be going. 

This morning there was no 'boo-hoo, I-failed-miserably-I-have-to-do-better-next-year'. There was no great introspective examination of WHY I failed once again to accomplish these things that actually are pretty important to me and are actually very do-able. They are not over reaching and unattainable at all. 

I was working my way down the list ... Photos; Creativity; Business - etc.  Zero. Zero. Zero. One after another. The most pathetic showing yet. I was about to feel discouraged when I came to #7 and was able to give myself a 10. It out shone everything else. I AM a success! FINANCIAL: 'Oh hell. I give up.' I have. I did. I had totally forgotten that I wrote that. I know that I have felt that, I just didn't remember being so honest. 
Kind of proof that this year is going to be more colourful & creative.
  I was drawn to very vibrant and artful daily journals for 2016.
I always choose the same style for consistency, 
but these just jumped right into my hand.

I will do the list again this year. It's tradition. I will write down specific expectations again. I sort of need that. Although, considering that I actually don't act on one thing, a sane person would have to wonder why.

What is at the very top of my list this year, with great enthusiasm and joy rather than expectation, is my word 'CREATE'. This past year I did not get to my studio to work one single day. Not one. My studio is in my own house, just upstairs and I never showed up once. I missed it. I'm anxious to get back to it; to revive that very important part of my soul. I'm excited!

Sweet '16! The year is just hours old and I can already feel a turn towards the lighter, towards the joy of living an artful and creative life.


Jennifer Dewey said...

I, as EVer admire your enthusiasm, but I think you're being far too hard on yourself Ev. I truly felt over and over again during 2015 that you were accomplishing FAR more that I've ever seen in the several years that I've known you. In fact I often wondered if you sleep (I know you don't, but still...). So revel in your "sweet '16" goals...what a year it will be!!

Rosella said...

I agree with Jennifer - you are absolutely being too hard on yourself. You and your family have accomplished SO MUCH this past year!!!! There would never be enough room to write it all between the lines of your list. You are the most creative person I know! Sweet sixteen to you - may it be the best year yet.

EvScott said...

Jennifer & Rosella ... you gals are SO sweet and supportive. I suppose if I never read my own list (or actually WROTE it) I might sorta think that I have done SOMETHING in the year. When I look it over, I really do wonder what I have been spending my time at. It comes and goes SO quickly. It IS going to be a productive year ... I can feel it! And I will keep this enthusiasm and motivation for I betcha a full week :-)

Kathy said...

Hi Evelyn! Love your energy! Yes, I agree- you are way too hard on yourself- a young friend posted in her resolution list, 'Do things I love'- not as exact as your list but very kind to self- you are our 'Createer', our Imagineers, steering friends and family to awesome heights- My Mother's Keeper almost has a life of its own, and what an impact it has had on so many of us! It reminded me that I have always loved to write and along with putting Mom's story into print, created a connection with the other 2 dozen writers that is intimate and forever. Being a part of The Artists Way is another of your effects on those around you- I think of it every day as I try to make more time for creating. Sometimes when we make resolutions, we are reaching very high and who knows what life is going to pop up in front of us- both happy & sad. Yes - thank-you for Sweet Sixteen- we'll get to those goals... One year...and hey... You bought new paints! Xxoo��

EvScott said...

The most beneficial thing I think I could do - and SHOULD do, is create a list at the END of the year of all the wonderful, amazing, inspiring people who have been in my life this past year. 'My Mother's Keeper' certainly was something beyond what I could ever have imagined in so many ways. Thanks for being part of it. I'm glad you enjoyed writing ... do it again :-) And yes ... can't wait to get to my new paints!

Pauline B said...

Cre8 , I LOVE it ! See , you even recreate words ! What kind of paints are you getting ? I'm so excited to see all that you come up with . um , the statement about zero days in the studio ? Paint brush people ? I'm so HAPPY to see YOU so HAPPY about 2016 !! Enthusiasm is contagious :) You go girlfriend ! And well, as everyone else said , I don't know too many that ever accomplish more than you do in any given year , but having said that , it is quite okay to just 'be' and observe sometimes too .
Enjoy the coming year , however you play it out ! It will be a wonderful adventure!! :)

EvScott said...

I forgot about the Brush Folk, PB! I DID do something :-) BUT ... alas, I dragged everything down to my kitchen table and made a major mess there. I've just used my studio as a storage depot for supplies.

Paints ... I bought a whole line of Pebeo creative paints. I have no idea what to do with them. I will go to my usual learning establishment - 'U of Tube'