Sunday, October 16, 2011

Slip,Slippin' Away

You know your life is out of control when it’s October and the calendar you walk by every day says JULY.  And the truth is, when you changed it in July it actually said APRIL.

You know your life is out of control when your slipper basket is empty, and now you can’t even find the ONE brother that is usually in there, missing his sibling. And you have to dip into your husband’s sock drawer (shhhh…) because, just like the slipper basket, the cupboard is bare. 

I don’t know what has happened to 2011.  I seem to have lost a big chunk of it for no good reason.  Yes, I’ve worked at a ‘Real Job’ for a portion of it, but that’s hardly an excuse – lots of people seem to do that.

I used to be able to do so much more with my time.  When I had four kids under nine, I also had a full time job, belonged to three or four organizations, cared for my aging parent, had a menagerie of animals and still ‘made things’ and did shows. When the kids got a little older and more active, so did I. I substituted the job for my own retail business, then added wholesale into that, a few more organizational involvements and I still was able to change the calendar regularly .And I usually could find my socks.

Now, shamefully, I am not involved in any community organization. Well, I suppose that’s not true – Jaime and I have started our own. I don’t have kids to tend and run around all over the countryside.  I don’t even have a dog to feed – just a semi-feral cat.  I have ‘made’ basically nothing all year, and my house is as disorganized and upside down as it was when I was in the throes of full blown creativity.

So what’s up with me now? I can’t get my head together to write on this blog. I can’t get my act together to do my photos and quotes on The Daily Muse.  For over 20 years I have every single day documented in a diary. I can account for my time. Sometimes I’ve had to back up and fill in a few when the week got away from me, but now I have two entire months BLANK.  That’s what my life kinda feels like … blank.

And I know THAT is not true. It’s filled to the brim with people I love, wonderful activities, full and eventful days – every minute full to capacity.  Some might say ‘Well, right there is your problem.’  But the point is, my life has always, ALWAYS been that full.  I just don’t seem to be processing it as effectively as I once could.

Age. I guess that’s the reality of it. I just can’t juggle as many things as I could.  Oh humbug (who says HUMBUG anymore – that’s how badly I’m stuck)  … that’s not it.  That’s a pathetic excuse. I surely have gathered up some wisdom and strategies for coping. Perhaps it’s just time to use them.

I’ve got to do some thinking on this. I’ll get back to you. Right now  I’m going to go change the calendar to NOVEMBER.  Oops ... that's not so bright. Time is slipping way too quickly as it is.