Saturday, December 31, 2011

What's the Point?

In a matter of hours, it’s over. 2011.  It has been a wonderful, full, rich year.  For our family, there was only one single fly in the ointment – the loss of our dear Abby. And really, that is quite remarkable.  Illness & loss & not-necessarily-good change is part of everyone’s world and that we can only point to one heartbreak over the year is, as I say – Remarkable.      

I am grateful. Every single day, I am grateful. In fact, when I climb into bed each and every night, I snuggle down and I give God my list of the FIVE things that I am grateful for that day.  Most often, the very first that comes to mind is that I am grateful for a warm and comfortable bed when so many in this world do not have that simple luxury.  Back in 1997 I wrote the five things I was grateful for each day. It was enough of a ‘diary’ that reading those single sentence entries would bring back the entire day to me. I have often thought during my night time regime, that I need to get back into that habit.

I do need to. It is the habit of writing that I have most sorely missed this past year.  It is a habit. When I do it regularly, the words come naturally. I think of a dozen things a day to ‘talk about’.  With falling from the habit of writing here – which I really, really do love to do – I have found myself being ‘frozen’ – having no clue how I can even begin to write about something.  When I am ‘In the Habit’, the smallest things are a story. Lately, nothing seems worthy of words.  That’s out of character for me.

A few months ago, I had the most lovely compliment when I was contacted by ‘BECOME.COM’ saying: “We would like to feature you in our Best of the Web, our weekly series recognizing the most interesting websites on the web.” I was honoured. And shocked. I didn't expect that someone actually READS my blog and they could think that anything that I would have to say as I ramble away to myself is even remotely of interest to anyone else.  The sweet gal who issued the invitation asked that I send a couple sentence to ‘describe my blog to someone whose never heard of it.’  In other words – ‘what's the point’?

Upon reading all the wonderful blogs that they have featured, I REALLY froze. I became totally intimidated in the stark reality that IS no point. There is no focus, no intent, no redeeming educational factor, no Greater Good. It’s just me. Me ... yattering about my insignificant little corner of the world. Randomly commenting on what pops into my mind on any given day. Suddenly, that was just not good enough. I got to thinking that there really SHOULD be a point. Me muttering about the goats in my flowerbed, a light that shines forever, my relationship to my fur-covered friends is of no interest to the world in general.  Simple as that.

I couldn’t follow up on that sweet & generous invitation because I am not worthy of a feature on anything.  I starting looking to change, to focus so perhaps I would be worthy. The truth is – it’s just not going to happen. My thoughts are random. My life is random.  I can’t explain any of it. If I wait until I discover the 'point' of anything - I will remain frozen.

I don't like living in a frozen state creatively. I need to rediscover that part of my being. I need to get back into The Habit.  The well is primed & ready ... a new year is on the horizon.

In 2012... I will write more – even if it is about Nothing Particular.  I will get back to ‘seeing photographs’ all around me and capturing them. I will get back to my studio and pull out all that wonderful stuff that I have been neglecting over the past year. And I will continue to do what I did all throughout 2011 – which was to expand my Circle, make new friends, have new adventures and generally LOVE all the people in my life, and indeed - just love and be grateful for Life itself. THAT is the point of my life, and I suppose, perhaps that is the ‘point’ of my blog … creating a Passionate Life from the very ordinary.


~Tonya said...

Dear Ev,

What's the point? There really does not have to be a point. You are who you are. You write what you feel. You take pictures of what you love and what you see. You write about things that matter to you and really nothing at all. That is the point...all of these things are you. They are what you see, what you feel, how you perceive them, and how they may move you.

You should have been more than honored to have been chosen and you should've responded with a few sentences. You are worthy of such an honor and your written words do touch others.

I get what you mean by frozen, as I am in the same type of state as you. I am being pulled in so many different directions, but I am learning, I am growing, I am becoming a better person, and I am making goals once again. I also need to allow myself to dream. As we all should dream. For the longest time I did not have any goals and I don't really dream. I merely get by and survive. I want more to life than that. I deserve more than that.

I am done rambling about this is suppose to be a post for you. I have not had much time to stop by because of college, but I think of you often and how your posts in the past have touched me. Don't ever say that your pictures and your writing has no point, because they have left an impression on me...even if it is only rambling to you. You have insight into the everyday things, whereas, some people simply cannot even relate to others in that manner.

I am glad that you are looking forward to 2012, as I am as well. There is so much I want to accomplish in the new year. I still love your blog and have missed stopping by to visit.

You have a wonderful, happy, and healthy new year, Eve!


EvScott said...

well my goodness, dear Tonya ... I should have asked YOU for a couple sentences. lol You are so sweet & supportive. Really, it is meeting lovely folks like you that is the reward for my ramblings. Thank you for such an eloquent & touching note - it means more than you can possibly know.

It looks like we are on the same page page for the coming year. It's exciting, isn't it! You are so right - we are GROWING, we are BECOMING. Sometimes us creative-types think that if we have nothing tangible to show for a time, it has been a waste. And there is the lesson that we apparently need to learn. Living & loving is NEVER a waste. Full speed ahead!!!!

BucksCountyFolkArt said...

You're not worthy?! Oh Evie, how could you even begin to think something like that? You've inspired me in more ways than you think, especially with your art. What I love most about your blog is that it isn't all bells and whistles. It's not fake or full of "hey! look at me! and become a follower!" It's real. It's life.

And from someone who doesn't get to look at animals on a daily basis, I appreciate your pictures of them, and the gorgeous country-side where you live. It's easy for you to think it's no big deal. But to people who don't have the opportunity to see what you see everyday, we get to look through your eyes.

Not worthy? I'm gonna catch the next plane, fly over there and smack you!!


EvScott said...

oh Jill ... you made me laugh right out loud. You jump on that plane & I'll SHOW the animals in person! Really - thank you for your sweet comments ... it's kinda hard to get my head around the fact that someone would read what I write. But to think it's an inspiration in any way ... well that's downright humbling.

Rosella said...

Ev - you truly are worthy. You have a true gift of writing, photography and art - I know this first hand and appreciate how talented you really are!

Here's to 2012 - it's going to be a banner year!

EvScott said...

Thank you, Rosella ... that's a nice compliment ;-) INDEED - it IS going to be a banner year. Weddings in the works for BOTH of us. Well ... not OURS (and that's a GOOD thing