Saturday, August 3, 2013

Sexigenarian

Yep. I'm sixty. SIXTY. Oh Lord ... sicksty. For heaven's sakes, how did that happen?

On January 15th this year, I determined that I had 200 days until 'S' Day. The plan was to accomplish, with great focus and determination, all the things that I needed, wanted, intended to do over the past three decades and have not achieved.

I`m not sure what I thought was going to happen when I turned Sixty. It was as if subconsiously I expected that I`d lose my drive, my passion and I would instantly be Old. I certainly know better than that. I intend to live full throttle until I die, which I have determined not to be for another three and a half decades. I prescribe to the philosophy that age is `just a number`; you`re only as old as you feel or act ... all those cliches.

I suppose it was just having the incentive of a milestone to motivate me ... like doing a deep clean of the house when you`re expecting company even though you know full well that they won`t be poking in your drawers. Or at least you HOPE they won`t.

There was, if I were to admit to myself, a certain trepidation about the 60 word.  It just sounds old. Fifty sounded like my Mother. Sixty sounds like my Grandmother. But hey ... I AM a Grandmother - that is the reality. It`s just that in my head I am still in my 30`s ... a YOUNG grandmother.

In my focus and countdown, I totally missed 59. I wasted all those days, even subconciously, thinking `I`m going to be 60. I`m going to be SIXTY!` On the eve of my birthday I thought, Ì`m 59 ... that suddenly sounds young.`

So ... did I accomplish all those things I intended to ... like put 37 years of photos in order, finish books and stories I`ve started, write our entire family history?  Nope.  Not one single speck. I just cluttered my mind and wasted my time with the intitial intention and then did absolutely nothing about it. Nothing.

And so, in that, I have deducted ... `Count Downs`do not work for me. It was not the pressure, incentive that I needed to be productive.

And so, I wake up on my birthday feeling SO renewed, refreshed, rejuvenated ... SO excited! It was like a dawning - like a re-birth. It was not at all like I expected.



And that, is another story.

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