Saturday, January 6, 2018

Hank

Yes. I do name everything. I always have. And yes, it apparently is usually a little corny. "The Queen of Corn" is what my kids christened me long ago.

"Charley" ... horse of course. "Lady" ... my ferret Lady. "Peg Bundy" was .. yes, you got it - our pig. "Chester" our turkey had a spray of feathers sprouting out of his front ...'chest hair' it looked like. Our dog "Abby" was wacky and crazy as a puppy so hence, "Abby Normal" was her full name. So expecting there to be a reason behind the naming of Wanda was not unreasonable; what was unreasonable was to #1) not be able to figure it out - it was an easy one and #2) being so stubborn to ask.

Brian bought Wanda a truck. Apparently it seemed easier to him than putting a tow bar on my car.

I guess his concern (and rightly so) is that I may want to Wanda around next summer and he would be recruited to deliver us and pick us up each time. That led him to buy her something that he is confident that I can learn to drive. I am confident as well. I can do anything. I am sure he thinks I will be safer with a truck. Or Wanda will be.

He was pretty proud of it when he got it all shined up. It's of sort-of vintage era like she is. "What's its name?" he asked. This was actually before his need to know 'why Wanda'. "I've got to think about that." I told him. "We'll have to see who Wanda wants to be partnered with."

I trie a few out. "Wendall?" I mused aloud, "Wanda & Wendall" (I definitely wasn't going to mention that I would be spelling it Whendall" "Nope." he said definitively. :"He's not a Wendall." After a few more suggestions were vetoed, I said "I'll have to think on it. It will come to me."

"Hank." he said. "He can be Hank." "Sure" I agreed, "He can be Hank." I didn't have to ask the why. I knew his Why. I can figure him out better than he can figure me out.

For years one of his common responses to many situations is "That's not Hank would have done 'er." I think he is already envisioning my backing abilities.


Friday, January 5, 2018

Why Wanda?

"Really? You seriously have to ask? Seriously?? Come on ... you're kidding me." My turn to be stymied.

OF COURSE there was a reason. He was right; there pretty well always was a reason. But to hold on. to the curiousity all that time; to be so stubborn to ask and then blurt it out in total randomness ... that was just weird.

"Come on ... it's a no-brainer. Wanda. Think about it."


I could tell that he wasn't kidding, he really didn't know and inexplicably it was bothering him that day. It was the kind thing to release his angst.

"Wanda. Wanda go with me? Wanda go on Adventure. I Wanda go Somewhere. I Wanda take off. Wanda-lust. Not all who Wanda are lost."

I was still going on when he just shook his head and walked out. "I knew it." he was grumbling under his breath.

Of course he did.

Thursday, January 4, 2018

Why?

It took him a full eight mnths to aks me. It just came out of the blue a couple weeks ago. It was on one of his many trips in and out from his shop - to get a coffee, to grab his computer, to check in and see what I'm up to. He stopped for a second and said 'Okay.' Deep breathe. "Okay. I have just have to know." "Know what?" I asked. 

"I have been waiting. I figured it would come out at some point, but the kids don't even know." "Know WHAT?" I asked again - a little impatient with the game. Deep breath. Still his. 

"What's the deal? I know it's Something. It's GOT to be Something. It's ALWAYS Something." 'WHAT?!" Full blown impatience now, bordering on irritation. "I can't figure it out. I have been waiting for you to say. I KNOW it's something. I give in. Tell me." "WHAT ARE YOU TAKING ABOUT." The border was crossed.

"I seriously have no idea what you are talking about. I give up." and I went back to what I was doing. Attentiveness to impatience to irritation to apathy. It's a very short path in my world.

He was still throwing out the hook. "There's got to be a reason. There Has. Got. To Be. A Reason.There is ALWAYS a Reason with you." Nope, not biting anymore. My attention is finite. Recognizing that look ... or lack of, he finally spit it out. Deep breath.

"Why? Why Wanda?"

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

The Word

Last year it was 'Streamline'; 2016 was 'Create', 2015 was 'Write'; before that it was 'Clarity & 'Simplicity'. It doesn't take a pyscho-analyst to see those damn ducks were trying to be rowed.

Oh man, I have just unlocked the key to the frustrations I have had for decades in achieving so few of my annual goals. It was simply an unrealistic expection.


Now that I am not only content but downright excited to allow my ducks to be crows and embrace that, I am just going to follow them as they flit around from place to place. I am going to be amused and entertained with what they pick up and where they lead me.

They just led me to my Word of the Year. I knew it would present itself when the time was right. 

It's 'Crowth'.That is going to be my focus. Or lack of.

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Crowing in the Right Direction

Something else made me shift from writing this blog. The first years when I was doing it regularly I was doing it just for ME. I didn't expect anyone would read it. I just like to write. I was just yattering away to myself because it was an exciting new format to play with. It was an opportunity to exercise my passions of writing and photography..

Then somehow I got to lead to the belief that it should be of 'value'; it should have a 'point'. What if someone actually read it and thought it was pointless. It became intimidating. I suddenly felt that it had to 'be something' ... that I had to 'be something'... entertaining, educational, informative ... Something.

Well ... now that I have set my ducks free, I am also releasing any notion that I have to BE anything. I am going to go back to yattering to myself and see where it leads. It might lead in circles. Who really cares? There's more than enough on the internet for people who actually want to read something of value to find that without me. I am more than content to know that the only people who would ever read this are the ones who already know how off-centre I am; how 'crow-like' in being distracted by shiny ... or ANY objects.

Hey ... that's what the problem was ... I never did have ducks. I had crows. No darn wonder I couldn't get them in a row. Crows are definitely rowless. You have never, ever heard someone say 'I am getting all my crows in a row.' For me I guess it was 'all my ducks in a cROW' and that obviously is just not going to work. All that time wasted.



I am going to embrace my inner Crow. This will be a year of Crowth.

Monday, January 1, 2018

Duckless

It's been eleven years since I started this blog. I really used to enjoy writing it. Then came Social Media, the 'hijacking' tool. It hijacked my thoughts and my time. It is more 'dialogue', connecting with friends, meeting new ones, gathering up information, being led from one interesting fact or site to another. Yes, the rabbit hole. I like it. A lot. But it leads me away from here. For long periods of time I forget this exists.

I have to laugh at myself. At the start of every year I am so keen to get all my ducks in a row. It takes less and less time each year before they scatter. Sometimes I think I should just get rid of the ducks. But then again, who would I be without my ducks? I might want to release a couple because they're fairly geriatric, but then again, I have been feeding those suckers for decades. And really, who even cares that I am an inefficient duck herder other than me. I am just going to totally turn them loose. My ducks are all officially now 'free range'.

So ... here I go again. I am not, like I have in the past ... oh lordy - how many decades? ... giving myself a 'goal' to write 'x number' of posts and continue to not achieve that goal. I will just dump that, scatter the ducks and write because I like to write.

Oh ... second thought. I DO need a goal. I am not quite ready to be duckless and goal-less all at once. My goal ... Remember that I actually have this blog.