Monday, April 11, 2011

Getting A Handle

An entire month since I wrote. Ridiculous. More than a quarter of the year is gone already; slipped through my fingers like a greased pig. My days took a detour that wasn’t on the agenda on the first of January; a foray into the Working World.


It has been fun and interesting and challenging. I enjoy getting dressed in something other than jeans and slippers day in and day out. I enjoy walking along the street, computer bag in one hand, handbag in the other, looking and feeling more like a business person than I have in years. I love getting to have colleagues; people to chat to and laugh with every day. I love a new challenge and doing something so totally different than I ever expected to do.



I don’t love that I have had to let my writing go. Or that I not only do not have time to write it, but also no time to think it. I don’t love that I don’t have time to play pictures – take them, edit them, find quotes. I am behind in my Daily Muse. I don’t love that I don’t even seem to know what a muse is anymore.



I particularly don’t love that I seem to be losing time with my wee ones. That Spencer almost made strange when Jae left the other day. That Georgia looks at me with a bit of a question in her eyes, like ‘WHO exactly are you?’ That Gibson ran to me the other day yelling ‘Nana! Nana!!’; threw his arms around me, buried his face in my neck and said ‘I MISSED you! I missed you SO much!!. I don’t love that the girls need a break from their babies and I have not been any help. I don’t love that I feel I have neglected my friends and some other important things that are a high priority. I don't like feeling that I do not have a handle on my life.



It’s not just work though. A fair bit of time and head space has been given to our new organization WINGS. And every moment between working and that was spent trying to get ready for the show. Now that that is over, and I’m down to three days a week, I have got a lot of catching up to do.


First thing is to get back into a mind set of writing here more regularly, and back to my Daily Muse. I desperately need to get back to using my head, using my camera, nurturing my creativity and my relationships.



This sojourn into the working world has been very good for me. It’s made me realize how much I took my time for granted. It’s made me appreciate my flexibility and freedom more. It’s made me want to streamline my life and rid of myself of excess things so I can focus only on what’s important.



I know what’s important to me and I’ve got to get down to the business of getting a handle on it I’ve got to do better, simple as that.

3 comments:

Rosella said...

I hear you sista :). One of these days I'm going to quit working too and enjoy some creative time. Sigh!

Trish Stover said...

my life always seems out of my control and at the mercy of others and their needs. I feel a sense of encouragement when I read that someone thinks it's possible to take their life back.

Ev said...

oh yeah, girls ... it IS a challenge, isn't it. The truth is, I'm really not trying to balance a portion of what I used to - it's just harder with all these years piled upon me.